Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
