Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
