Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I understand Curling. That high.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
