You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
