And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
