Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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