I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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