We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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