how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
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noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
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We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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