On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
