I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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