How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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