Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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