i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
