im having a threesome with these popsicles
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
