she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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