Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Randomize
