is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
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