im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
tell me about the eggs
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