I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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