38 yer olds are good kisserssss
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
