Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize