that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize