Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
