tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
its liver damage thursday
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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