We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
