we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I forget how to act sober
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
