just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
and she was petting her beer can
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
