it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
