No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
