that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Randomize
