Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Someone shattered a urinal.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Two words: nipple clamps
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