I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
