Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band

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(703): View more from Virginia

I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

time to smoke my breakfast

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(908): View more from New Jersey

he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious

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(843): View more from South Carolina

throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected

(1-843): View more from South Carolina

since when the fuck is that glamorous?

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(757): View more from Virginia

I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.

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(503): View more from Oregon

It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.

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(316): View more from Kansas

I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away

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