I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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