the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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