My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
