how hairy? two words: wookie tits
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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