I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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