when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
