It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
