I just made out with a guy for $7.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
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watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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