...so i touched it.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Brb crying the tears of my youth
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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