Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
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She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
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You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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