I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 2 1 whiskey
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize