Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
