awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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