Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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