dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
