I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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