youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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