So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
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He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
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Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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