But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
