Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
