So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i love accidental penises.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
