..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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