Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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